Money plays a part in all relationships, and friendships are no exception. In its simplest form, it’s that awkward moment at brunch when the waiter asks if you want separate bills. It can also appear in some major ways, like when you hear a good friend is planning an extravagant destination wedding in Italy.
The bottom line is that while you share some great memories with your friends, you may not always share identical financial situations. Here are some do’s and don’ts for dealing with mixed-income friendships
Do ask your friends for input. Even if you’re the designated events coordinator for your group, consider surveying everyone or asking them to pitch ideas for get-togethers. It will be more inclusive for everyone to suggest activities that align with their budget.
Don’t make assumptions. One cannot assume anyone’s budget or financial situation. Some might still be paying off student loans, paying for childcare or an elderly family member, or being relied upon as the primary breadwinner in their household.
Do give your friends time. When you’re planning something that may cost a pretty penny, give plenty of notice that you’d like your friends to join you. A longer lead time means they have the chance to save up for that birthday dinner or night at the theatre if they want to join you. Last-minute plans might not be possible if they’re working on a tight budget.
Don’t hold it against them if they take a pass. Understand that not only do your friends’ finances differ, but so do their priorities. Even if you’ve given plenty of notice, a group trip to Mykonos might not be as important as taking their kids to Disneyland this summer. While you might be well-positioned to do both, you shouldn’t assume that your friend is.
Do offer to pay if it’s in your budget. It’s nice to treat a friend who doesn’t have as much discretionary income. That might not mean you’ll cover the cost of their flight abroad, instead consider offering to buy cocktails one night while you’re away or covering the cost of a rental car in your destination city. After all, having their company might be worth it to you – and that’s ok! It’s ok, too, if they politely decline.
Don’t be afraid to have an honest conversation. The dialogue may not include swapping exact salary figures (though that is becoming increasingly common among women in an effort to close the wealth gap), but it’s ok to talk about money with your close friends. If you can openly tell each other that something isn’t in the budget or you have other priorities that take precedence, there will be a mutual respect and understanding.
If we make money less of a taboo topic with friends, we might not only learn a thing or two by swapping stories, but we’ll all feel more comfortable making memories that fit within in our budgets.
Next steps
When making plans with friends, consider:
• Sourcing ideas from everyone in the group to ensure it fits within your friends’ budgets
• Giving plenty of heads up if there’s a big-ticket event, you’d like your crew to take part in
• Having an open dialogue about finances to build mutual respect and understanding
Sources: theeverygirl.com; huffpost.com; tampabay.com
Black MondayOn 19 October 1987, the stock markets experienced a dramatic plunge that prompted many firms to shut down their trading desks and turn off their phones to minimize internal losses. Raymond James refused to do the same. Our desks stayed open to help meet clients’ needs, resulting in our first and only unprofitable quarter since the firm went public in 1983. |
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Who was Raymond James?The Raymond in our name is actually from Edward Raymond, owner of a 15-employee mutual fund sales group, Raymond and Associates, along Florida’s west coast. He sold his company to Bob James on 15 July 1964, on condition that the surviving firm be called Raymond, James & Associates. Three days after the sale, Ed Raymond was involved in a near-fatal automobile accident and never joined the firm. Nonetheless, even after Raymond had passed away, Bob James insisted that his name remain on the door – ahead of James’ own. That was a promise he made to Ed Raymond three days before the accident, and Bob James was a man who kept his promises. |
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Bear Market of 1974The severe bear market of 1974 threatened the existence of Raymond James, which was bleeding capital by the day. Tom James, his father and other leaders took extreme measures to keep the firm afloat, slashing costs, foregoing paychecks and even attempting to sell the firm for just enough capital to protect client assets and retain as many associates as possible. The story could have ended very differently if not for a sharp upturn and continued rebound in the stock markets late in the year. |
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Taking Raymond James PublicWhen consideration was being given to taking Raymond James public, Tom James penned a letter to shareholders (largely employees at the time). ” … the public offering should be considered as a statement of our independence. While this is a psychological rather than an economic rationale, it is nonetheless very important. We have asserted for some time that we are not interested in becoming a small part of a very large corporation. That assertion results mainly from the inclinations of management rather than the economic benefits associated with either alternative. The public stock offering affords us the opportunity to enjoy a little bit of the best of both worlds. While shareholders will be given liquidity at fair market value, we will still have the ability to control our own destiny.” After 40+ years of Tom’s leadership, upon becoming CEO, Paul Reilly was often questioned about whether the company might ultimately surrender its cherished independence and be acquired by some larger entity. His response: “Not while I’m around.” It’s a theme that continues today. |
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